P a u s e .
R e f l e c t .
S u p p o r t .

one person’s thoughts on grieving

Too often when something disappointing, or even terrible, happens, I immediately go to the place of trying to find the light. I stay positive. I find the silver lining for my losses. I recognize what I am grateful for. 

These are coping mechanisms and helpful ways to keep things in perspective but by jumping directly to this mindset, am I missing something?

Do I let myself just sit for a moment with my emotions?

Do I invite others to understand my pain, vice versa? 

When faced with my own losses, I often catch myself saying, “Well, at least I still have…” My thought process, even subconsciously perhaps, is that I need to diminish my grief, in hopes that I’m showing my gratefulness more. 

This way of thinking does not help me address what I’m feeling. 

Have you ever caught yourself doing the same?

A friend of mine once told me, “Just because your sorrow isn’t this or that, it’s still pain and it’s worth recognizing… you are worth recognizing.”

Why not change this narrative of pushing over emotions to positive thinking.

Instead, let’s pause in our grief, reflect on how we are feeling, and support one another through our pain.

“…deep down we all know what it feels like to grieve, feel sorrow, and then find joy again even in the smallest things.”

– Phylicia, posted in an Instagram comment, The Power of Public Mourning

This past year the whole world has experienced pain and suffering, in ways that are both different and also just the same. Let’s be there for one another, perhaps just to pause, reflect and sit with our losses, together.   

As a first step in practicing pausing in our grief, check out this podcast. Individuals from across the country called in and left voicemails telling their stories and answering the question “What has 2020 taken from you?” 

Click the following link to listen/read it now: All that 2020 Has Taken From Us